Palinhater Bloggers Attend Satanic Ritual
Many bloggers who’ve expressed their keen hate for the Governor of Alaska recently attended a Satanic ritual in a forest. The bloggers donned red hoods and robes, though their shoe attire was mixed both in color and style. During the midnight ritual, the group sung chants of “long live the prince of darkness” and “God is dead” and human effigies were stabbed with a stone knife. A few of the chief bloggers had cleverly inserted bags full of red liquid within the effigies to make it look like they were drawing blood. The rest of the crowd seemed to be worked into a frenzy upon seeing the fake blood believing they were actually stabbing a living person. After the sacrifices, one of the leaders (who had fastened aluminum foil horns onto his hood) stirred the mob: “Our job is not done. We must continue the spreading of deceit. Every hint of splinter of a sliver of a question must be tortured into a full-blown scandal. Let the dark one work through you, and we will surely prevail.” Whereupon the bloggers began an awkward square dance and someone called out the moves with a tambourine accompaniment. They were exhausted after about 5 minutes of spinning their partners round and round and retired to a table with several pitchers of red kool-aid to slake their thirst.
Afterwards the group broke up to return to their homes. There was a faint-hearted suggestion from a few to have an orgy and that a couple goats were nearby, but most of the group responded that their last orgy ruined a whole day of blogging for them.